Cherished Conviction

  A point that I try to make often is that convicted persons are really no different than persons without convictions.  I take every opportunity I can to humanize persons with criminal backgrounds.  I do that primarily for the larger community but it is important that persons struggling with prisoner reentry humanize themselves.  That is, we need to stay cognizant of the fact that anyone in our shoes would have the same problems that we have.  

In perhaps most cases, convicted persons can find a sense of enhanced self esteem when we consider that many--if not most--of those in the larger community that don't face the obstacles we face would not fare nearly as well as we have and do.  The fact that we're still standing, still getting up everyday, determined to find a way to get to our breakthrough, exemplifies the best in human capability.  In that sense, quite frankly, we are better than most of the people who dismiss and dehumanize us.  That shouldn't puff us up with any sort of negative animus but it should buffer our spirits and strengthen our minds against the inevitable discouragement we must continuously process.  

In essence, my attitude is that I can take whatever you have to dish out to me.  I'm better than you think I am, and I am committed to demonstrating that in the way I process your ignorance.  I do that for me, not as any sort of get-back at you.  I take care to keep my self esteem intact by making sure that I can feel good about the way I handle myself on every day.  Nothing can or will ever shake my faith in myself!  I will die living just like that before I live any other way.

Convicted persons must have a tenacity for living right that is stronger than any self doubt.  That will keep us moving in the right direction, even when we can't see the road ahead very clearly.  That tenacity for living right is the only check we have against the all-too-human tendency to seek the easiest way to cope with the demands of living.  We don't have the luxury of succumbing to the mental weakness and spiritual hypocrisy of most of those around us.  By being totally real with ourselves, and staying real in our dealings with others, we position ourselves as persons of character.  Others may not overtly acknowledge that, but they do comprehend that.  

Our lot is that of building personal capital.  When we have built up enough of it, it will pay dividends.  We shouldn't do so expecting any sort of reciprocity or desired outcome but rather knowing that doing so will ultimately change the nature of our circumstances--if we pay attention, and prepare ourselves for the opportunity that will ultimately knock.